Thoughts from Xmas 2001: Xmas 2001 Parallels

1.     Mary's "How Can It Be?"

the Christian's doubting HIMSELF when God says He wants to do something

2.     Joseph's Mental Turmoil

Confusion with how to interact with OTHERS God may place around us

3.    Full Term Pregnancy Travel

Some of God's Designs seem Inconvenient, even Detrimental! We simply Trust.

4.    No Vacancy

Too busy accommodating man to give Christ priority and "gushing love" space in our hearts?

5.    Mary and Joseph's TAKING of the stable--birth of the baby

God's entering of what little room we DO give Him--then filling it up with JOY

6.    Research of Wise Men

Conclusive Result of True Science and Honest Seeking: GOD.

7.    Gifts were given for birth of Earthly King

What Gift is Fit to present to the King of the Universe?

いつまでも

 （この記事は英語で書いたものを通訳アプリで一度訳して、それをチェックしただけ。）

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私は来世にいる夢を見た。交通事故で死んだのだろうか？それとも突然の心臓発作？あるいはテロリストの銃弾？いずれにせよ、私は宇宙の絶対的に正義の神と対面し、自分の生き方を正当化するよう求められていた。その神は、私が想像していたどんなものよりも、はるかに偉大で畏敬の念を抱かせる存在だった。

偉大なる全能の神が罪びとである私に怒りの目を下すのが見えた。神は私を持ち上げ、火の池に投げ込もうとした。

 

「イエスさま！」と心の中から声が漏れた。あまりの恐怖に、叫ぶことさえできなかった。そこに投げ込まれるのは当然だと分かっていたが、いつまでも、いつまでも、そこから出られなくなるという恐ろしい考えが私を麻痺させた。「イエスさま！」

私を永遠の絶望の淵に突き落とすはずだった動きが、私をさらに高く持ち上げ続け、周囲は明るくなり、私はどこかに着地した。

 人々が駆け寄ってきた。「巡礼者よ！兄弟よ！もう永遠に安全なのだ！」彼らは人間だったと思う。この者たちは皆輝くような笑顔を浮かべ、隠し事も脅しも冷酷さも感じさせず、まるで子供のようだった。

 私は息を呑んだ――下で何が起こったのだ？私は振り返り、下を見た。

 まさか？罪に対する怒りで暗く染まった神の顔が、地面から持ち上げた人物を見つめていた…待てよ…ほんの数秒前まで私だった…ならば、それは私ではなく、イエスさまだ！そして神は彼を暗い穴の底に投げ込んだ。

 私は立っていた場所の端まで走り、ヒステリックになった。「なんてこと！だめだめだめ！」しかし、私の後ろから他の人たちの足音、そして「心配する必要はありませんよ。それが、イエス様が十字架でなさったことなのです」という声が聞こえた。

「昨日も今日も、そしてこれからも、いつまでも私は変わらない」と、また別の声がした。「私が何をしたのかを見てもらいたかっただけです。」

「イエス様！」私は慌てて振り返ると、イエス様が両腕を広げてこちらに向かって歩いてくるのが見えた。

「でも、あなたは…私の代わりに…いたと思ったのに。」私は言葉が出ず、イエス様の腕の中に倒れ込んだ。

「十字架の上でわたしが何をしたのか、君に見てほしかったのでね。必要なら何度でもやるよ。でも、もうその必要はないんだ」と彼は静かに言い、私の頭を撫でた。

「ああ、イエス様、ありがとうございます」と言おうとしたその時、悲鳴が聞こえた。

誰かが激しく身振り手振りをしながらどもりながら、「で、でも、あれはイエス様ですよ！」と言っていた。

自分の涙はまだ乾いていないのに、あの人に言った：「大丈夫。イエス様は十字架の上であなたたのために何をしてくださったのか、知ってほしかっただけ。ホラ、見て。」私の後ろに、両手を広げ、昨日も今日も、そしていつまでも、ご自身の民のために微笑んでくださる方がいました。

Cat and Mouse...I mean, Birds...Ducks? (8-5-2011)

My daughter and I were baking cookies once for a youth group activity. We were actually trying to make them into the shape of birds because the theme was peace and the cookies were supposed to be doves...but the only bird-shaped cookie cutter we could find looked more like a flattened, upside-down triangle with a beak on one end. So Emily came up with the idea of using duck-shaped cookie cutters instead.

I think they looked like DUCKS, just plain ducks. Emily, in a playful mood, made one triangle bird cookie, "mama bird", then lined up other ducklings in a row after it. She went back to the bed, came back with the stuffed cat, propped her up at the end of the table, and said, "Look! The cat is after the unsuspecting birds! It's a nice, sunny day, and the little chickies are just following mommy...won't they be surprised when terror pounces all over them!"

Sometimes my daughter and I have really deep, meaningful talks.

TRUST ME; I'M YOUR FATHER

There was one program about an orphan who'd grown up thinking her parents had been killed in a fire. A wealthy butler-type man finds her, seems to fool her into thinking he may be her father who actually escaped the fire, seems to frame her for his master's murder after which he becomes filthy rich, and she is thrown into jail. The police smell something funny and discover the murder was committed by the man posing to be her father after all, and he is executed, she is given rightful claim to fortune.

The VERY END of the program has a surprise. THAT BUTLER WAS ACTUALLY HER REAL FATHER, WANTING HER BEST, AND HE HAD POSED TO FRAME HER AND BE EXECUTED FOR A CRIME, KNOWING SHE WOULD END UP WITH FORTUNE BECAUSE OF IT! Long story simplified.

Murder and framing are by no means right and noble, and this is not an attempt to justify either. But it got me thinking. Sometimes God may ACT like He's "framing us" because He loves us so much He is willing to be HATED for what He does for us! At the end of the story, the main character recalls the butler's words to her: "Trust me; I'm your father." He hadn't been saying that just to fool her; he really meant it. We need to remember always too to trust God; He's our Father!

"Though he slay me, yet will I trust him" (Job 13:15a)

"Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. (Ps. 103:13)

MY FAVORITE JERK

The disciple Peter was one character in the Bible we could really love and thank God for his example, BECAUSE HE REALLY ACTED LIKE A JERK sometimes but LOVED THE LORD WITH ALL HIS HEART, and GOD LOVED HIM BACK IN A SPECIAL WAY AND USED HIM MIGHTILY! Encouragement for all of us who are regular jerks but oh do love God too and really do want Him to use us!

ALARMING DISCOVERY

The night before, I'd crawled under the covers with the alarming thought I'd forgotten to set the alarm clock "so God, please wake me up in the morning!" VERY early Sunday morning, I was startled awake with the sound of the alarm clock! It turns out when my children had toyed with it, and I put it back where it belonged, I must've pressed the button setting it to go off. So I think God must've chuckled when He heard my prayer the night before. "You just THINK you didn't set the alarm! You don't know you did!"

This was part of the testimony I shared with the church folk at worship service.

GOD KNEW BETTER

Sunday morning, I woke up with my back hurting something bad--long, cold nights do that to me sometimes, especially since last year. I keep a heating pad on my mattress, and I turned it on, lay there for a few minutes pondering staying home from church for the day. I'd taken a peek at the weather forecast, showing it would be warm; so I said to myself that God had warm weather waiting "just for me"; I COULDN'T possibly stay home and "let it go to waste"! I didn't know what God had for me but thought it had to be special for all the opposition I was feeling to keep me from going. Walking into the church building, I said, "Okay God; give it to me!"

A few hours later, when I saw Russel Waala come through those church doors--and God had arranged it so I would be the one standing nearest to the door then--I could almost see God smiling! "See June; you THOUGHT you wanted to stay home; I KNEW BETTER! You would've been real sorry if you had!"

* This post is NOT saying people should always fight against physical discomfort and attend church meetings no matter what; I am just relating one experience the Holy Spirit happened to give me that time; I realize there are exceptions!

ACT LIKE IT!

One of Piper's mentions of John 14:15, "If ye love me, keep my commandments" was about the completely wrong interpretation it is often given: Keep doing right if you want to prove you really love me. What it really says, he asserted, was: If you really love me, ACT LIKE IT!

SHOCKING TRUTH

Something else happened a few days ago. I was walking along this pretty new path near our home and saw doggie droppings. Should I try to move them?--but I didn't have anything with me and couldn't see anything around that would help, so I didn't. (I did so last week when I saw a worm had come out onto the path, and deposited it onto the dirt nearby so others taking a walk wouldn't have to see the yucky creature.)

And a funny scene came into my head: what if somebody saw me and asked, "What are you doing that for?" I COULD reply--with a halo above my head, of course--"because I don't want peoples' walks being ruined with unpleasant stuff like this"...or give an HONEST reply--I wonder what their reaction would be if I said--"because I want people to think I'm a good person"!

The heart of man, the heart of man. Jeremiah says the heart of man is DECEITFUL above all things, and desperately wicked. Even when we think we're doing good things with good motives, the real reason is we want to feel good about ourselves, and if someone else would think so too, all the better!

FOLLOW

This is the day children of God commemorate the way God made Reconciliation possible for us by sending us His Son Jesus to die on the Cross--HALLELUJAH!  May the day be soaked through with awareness of His special love rebounding in irrepressible praise.

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A short thot for today:

"Surely GOODNESS and MERCY shall FOLLOW me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." (Ps.23:6)

O Lord, FOLLOW me!

When my back is turned to Thee, follow me!

Sinful, wretched soul I am, yet follow me!

Then Lord, may I turn around and

be able to do none else than

with all my being

follow hard after Thee.

HELPLESS FOOLS

You know that poem Piper wrote about getting roses for his wife for their 30th anniversary? This morning, when having my Garden Time and thinking about how I really wanted to clean house today, I found myself praying, "Lord, enable me--fill my life with overspill of joy power--to do right, not just because it's right and what I'm supposed to do, but because it's something I absolutely WANT to do. Lord, help me not be able to help it but do right!"

"Oh Johnny, these are BEAUTIFUL! Why did you?"

"I...(chuckle)...I couldn't HELP myself!"

May we be "helpless", happy fools for Thee!

HEDONISTIC MOTIVES

 - I go to the beach

Not just because I have to measure the tide

    or take samples of the sand back to the laboratory

        or study the sea life

But I go there to swim with long strokes, circling freely with my arms

    to feel the ocean breeze and cool splash of water

        to listen to laughing seagulls and children.

- I eat this meal

Not just because I have to ingest proteins, vitamins, water, calories

necessary to sustain life

    or participate in customary activity to be courteous

        or even to maintain self-discipline in daily routine

But my mouth waters - happily, effortlessly

    when I chomp into the juicy steak and buttery potatoes

        when I become momentarily oblivious to all other senses.

Altho' of a different category,

- I am a Christian

Not just because I have to uphold exemplary standards of moral living

    or think of it as defining my religious persuasion

        or even to please God

But because He is MY TREASURE and I get to revel in

the power, joy, freedom He affords my day

    because He works to please ME

        because then I can live life to the -nth degree

...to ENJOY!

BENDS DOWN A WHOLE LOT (Osaka Trip Series)

I thought about meeting Brian at the Eki when I got to Osaka, surprised at how much I had to stre-t-t-t-t-ch up just to give him a hug (we Orientals don't get that close to heaven!). I said to myself, "How in the world does someone as small as 5-year-old Amy get her arms around her daddy's neck?" And I could picture Brian saying, with a twinkle in his eye, "Well, I have to bend down a little."

And it hit me. God "BENDS DOWN A WHOLE LOT" to see we get embraces of Love from Him!

A slight change to a familiar hymn:

"Into my bondage, sorrow and night,

Jesus has come, Jesus has come;

Bringing His freedom, gladness and light,

Jesus has come to me.

Into my sickness, bringing His health,

Into my want and bringing His wealth,

Into my sin and bringing Himself,

Jesus has come to me."

PREARRANGED MEETING (Osaka Trip Series)

When I got off at the Osaka train terminal, I realized the place was much bigger than I'd thought; the words I'd given Brian, "I'll see you at the Osaka train station" was nowhere near sufficient! Then the thought crossed my mind about Mommy and Daddy meeting for the first time in front of the Forbidden City Restaurant in Tokyo when they hadn't even seen each other, and I knew God could get me and Brian together.

"Okay, God, You'll have to get us together, 'cuz we absolutely have no idea where to go or how to meet!" I got off the train at the central exit and began walking towards the west exit. I didn't know it, but Brian had gotten to the train station and prayed the same thing as he began walking from the west exit to the central one. We met in 5 mins., as if the meeting had been prearranged.

Well, I guess it had been. God had arranged it, just not let us humans know!

EPILEPSY EXTRAS (Epilepsy Series)

 * The time Kinya jerked open the shower door when I was still inside. He must've been wondering if I was lying there unconscious after a seizure 'cuz it was taking so long for me to get out. Actually, I was done with bathing but was cleaning tho' still in my birthday suit. Things like this are EVIDENCES of Kinya's caring about--worrying about, anyway--me, since only something like that would make him take such an impulsive action. And the thought that normally follows: GOD PUT KINYA THERE TO WATCH OVER ME!

* I could go on and on about the "extras" I've gleaned as a result of my epilepsy...oh, just one more! I did tell you, didn't I, about Kinya's "cyberspace knight" incident in which he protected a person being bullied on the Internet? It's a LONG story. But the reason her website caught his eye was because she was engaged to a person who had epilepsy, and Kinya's self-introduction to her was something like, "I think we have something very much in common." And they'd become special acquaintances that way. It was my having epilepsy that gave him this outreach; that resulted in his being instrumental in protecting her; that, as a result of this incident, ,y first poem to Kinya was composed; that, as a result of that, led to a second poem which ended up in commencement of letter-writing to Kinya.

Back in the 9th grade, I did as Paul did in the New Testament. I asked God to take away the "thorn in the flesh". If only we'd be able to recognize His "My grace is sufficient for thee" actually ends up being " My blessings will be too much, burst and overflow, for thee". What we often see as holes, flaws, are just APERTURES FOR HIS BLESSINGS without which we would miss out on so much!

FORESEEN RESCHEDULING (Epilepsy Series)

Tuesday's Martha and Mary Kai activity, I'd been pretty sure I wouldn't be able to attend because I needed to be at school, so I'd told the pastor's wife and the woman's group president. It turns out the place we'd planned on going to was closed Tuesday due to a national holiday Monday (I guess because it's a tourist place, a place lots of people go to for holidays CAN'T close then so have their days off the following days!) So our M and & Kai was rescheduled to next month, and I can go then Besides, God knew that even if my school activity ended in time for me to hurry to church for M and M Kai, I wouldn't be in physical condition to do so! (I told you about the seizures that afternoon!) Would a human physician have been able to foresee my physical condition ahead of time...or even if he could, would he have been able to tell establishments to close on certain days because events needed to be rescheduled? Praise God the Orchestrator of the Universe Whose we are!

RED SEA CROSSING (Epilepsy Series)

That time of the month is never a really good time for me, sometimes the epilepsy medicine being lost in the blood and resulting in petit mal seizures.... Petit mal seizures aren't bad at all, just can be embarrassing if they happen at the wrong time (like when teaching children's church down at Tama). This time tho', it's been a little more than usual--had three this morning while having devotions--and worried that they might act up again when I went to school for yakuin stuff (collecting and counting money for bazaar food). Over two hours, nothing happened. I came home and was on this computer, making the announcement for next month's children's meeting, and I had several seizures. It's like God held back the water for the Israelites to cross, then let it go when the restraint was no longer necessary. I's gonna go upstairs and nap; I've had several more while writing these two paragraphs. Mebbe I'll let Hubby either make supper or take the kiddos out tonight. He's good about that. (Hubby DID take the kids out. And God gave me time for writing him a letter, listening to Piper tapes, doing a little emailing!)

WEIGHTY BENEFIT (Housecleaning, Mundane Series)

Emily's been gone since Wed on her "shukuhaku gakushuu" (overnight excursion) and will get back tomorrow evening. Kinya took her to the store several times to get her all the things she needed. And I packed her backpack--so much! But if, in an effort to make her backpack lighter, she REMOVED some of the items, she would've definitely been unhappy when she NEEDED the things she removed. Sometimes God gives us heavy burdens. If we bristle, cringe, REFUSE to carry the burdens He presents us with, later on we'll be VERY SORRY. God gives us only those things we NEED, things that will BENEFIT us, not just burdens to make us suffer I wrote about the above in Japanese, along with Matt. 7:11 and Lam. 3:32-33 (not to be confused with the oft-quoted 22-23), in a letter to Kinya.

WEEDING AND LEADING (Housecleaning and Mundane Series)

Sunday is the neighborhood clean-up day, when "everyone" will be going to the nearby Temple to weed the yard - mostly to get it ready for the fall festival. I feel funny about doing weeding work at the Temple 7-8 AM then leaving for church to sit at the feet of a God Who HATES idolatry. I don't want to look self-righteous and judgmental but don't want to convey a pragmatic hypocrisy either in my disloyalty to Love - I think it's called "uwaki" (an affair) so was wondering about what to do when...

I burned myself. It was with a lid of a pot. Almost seemed to be God's loud-and-clear "I really don't want you to go." But methinks the burn was light enough to be able to go anyway (er, that is, God seemed to give me the idea to keep it under running water for long periods of time) but enunciate I WILL not go--not CANNOT go--tho' am willing to help w/whatever else is necessary. Lord, give wisdom and a non-obnoxious spirit, but guard me from desire for man's approval and understanding. Oh to be "helpless" in love to be able to think of nothing else than to please thee!

About Sunday's weeding. It turns out I'd misunderstood, again. Altho' the fall festival mentioned in the announcement bears the temple's name, the actual weeding Sunday will be done, not at the Temple, but on the usual open lot! Yes! He'd let me burn myself to let me know how He felt then let it keep from getting bad because He knew it wouldn't be necessary! Thank You, Lord!

I think I want to laugh. The above weeding activity was 9/22. The morning of 9/25, God led me to read Song 8:7, including the words "many waters cannot quench love", mentally tying together BURNING with GOD'S JEALOUS LOVE! Perhaps that wasn't the intent of the passage, but He seemed to whisper it to me with a smile and a wink, and then He seemed to let me hear the echo in my own heart for 8:13, CAUSE ME TO HEAR your voice all the time, dear Jesus!

LEGALISTIC WINDOW CLEANING (Housecleaning, Mundane Series)

Our apartment windows need to be cleaned badly. But it's one thing to see the negative--grime needing to be removed--thus clean them, and another thing to anticipate positives--how clear they will be and readily admit light as well as how fresh I will feel--thus clean them.

If you want another parallel here, it would be motivations of Legalistic Christianity--removing offensive behavior and habits, even standards--as opposed to motivations of Grace--desiring an unimpeded, intimate love-relationship with God, when resolving sin. They're both seemingly doing the same thing.