John 4:14, from the story of the woman at the well in Sychar: "But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a WELL OF WATER SPRINGING UP into everlasting life." and "He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, OUT OF HIS BELLY shall flow rivers of living water." (Jn. 7:38) There's this picture of ABUNDANT, ANIMATED, PULSATING life, not just "sufficient".
And "As well the singers as the players on instruments shall be there: ALL MY SPRINGS ARE IN THEE" (Ps. 87:7) ANY praise, overflow, originates in the Lord Himself! At the same time, it's irrepressible and results in geysers of praise, I felt, and saw the music bursting out in my life as just that.
But when I got to church and sat down at the piano, going through the morning numbers to "warm up" for worship service accompanying, I realized my two-week's rest had resulted in my fingers getting stiff.... I don't know how to describe the dismay I felt at the realization I couldn't do things on the keyboard I had been finally able to do two weeks ago! And it hit me.
That morning, I'd also been taken to Jer. 2:3: "For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me the FOUNTAIN OF LIVING WATERS, and hewed them out cisterns, BROKEN CISTERNS, that can hold no water." My immense loss of joy--wasn't it because I had taken my eyes off HIM WHOM MY SOUL WANTED TO ADORE IN SONG and made an idol of the increasing ability (piano-playing technique) to do so instead? While practicing, I usually didn't think about fellowshipping with others present; while practicing, I felt meeting my children's needs were interruptions, irritations; how was practicing then different from any other obsession?
That morning's message was from Hab. 1:1b, but the Japanese translation made it much more clear:
"making his own strength his god". It was like I'd emphasized in the Sunday School lesson that morning: as God gave Eve as a helpmeet, but it resulted in sin, so often we receive blessings from God and turn them into idols. It hit me God had sent me "finger-freedom", and I was turning it into heart-shackles instead! It was like God spoke a strong, "Stop, June, right now, before you go too far and mess up the good thing I wanted to send you." Oh for a balance between "enjoy" and "idolize"!
God, I guess, saw my heart. That night was English service. We sang "Shout to the Lord", choruses like: "I'm So Happy", "Give Me Oil In My Lamp", "Isn't He Wonderful", "He's Able"--and I found myself singing all over the world (you know, notes that aren't on the songsheet) again, doing descants (by myself, tunes I've been dying to sing since a long time ago but never had the courage to take off on alone).
