The past few weeks, I feel like I've been in spiritually inconsistent mode, far from the bubbling-over walk I've known the past year or so. But it's so confusing. For three days in a row now, I've written Kinya two letters a day...and none of it is forced, yet I feel so dry all the time. In the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit CAME INTO people sometimes and LEFT too; that was supposed to change in the New Testament, but sometimes I feel like that's what's happening to me: when God "hits" me with something, I gotta tell you, it's REAL like life could never be less than heavenly then, but in a few hours, I'm "on empty" again.
I wish you could see me. I don't get up in the mornings hungry for Garden Time like I used to; the kids get on my nerves; and the way you can really tell is I get self-defensive, inhibited, and timid. "Bubbly" June gets quiet and reserved. And when she tries to work up some kind of spirit on her own, she ends up getting silly, unthoughtful, and self-centered. Ack. What do you think? (Can a person be in PMS for a whole month? I really don't think that's the problem here.)
What I am really like or where I am spiritually really doesn't matter--or, shouldn't matter. The Lord Jesus never changes, HE is worthy of highest praise and following into abundant life. I don't need to look at my ever-sinking feet but the Hand that lifts me out of the water EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Heb. 12:2, Isa. 26:3, II Chron. 2-:12, Ps. 73:25, Jn. 6:68.
Just call me Chicken Little. I like to run around screaming, "The Sky is Falling!" God just shakes His head at me, and says, "not as long as I'M alive, little birdie."
