Rev. 14:4 WHY "DEFILE"

"These are they which were not defiled with women; for they were virgins." (Rev. 14:4)

This passage bothered me no end. I've heard it taught by really smart Bible Teachers in several different ways, and I think my brain's not fast enough to understand the explanations. Please don't accuse me of being insubordinate or rebellious; I'm not intentionally disagreeing or trying to be contrary. I'm just one of those silly old women who wants to know what the Bible says; honestly doesn't get it. Anyway, here are some thoughts...

"Defiled." It feels like the verse says women are like bacteria, like men having wives are exposed to COOTIES. People are not "blessed" with females or "endowed" with their addition, but rather, the word "defiled" is used.

(This photo was taken at our honeymoon site!)

I checked other translations: ESV, NKJV, NIV, NASV...and they all say "defiled". Even the 新改訳 says「汚された」。Why?

Would God, the Author of scripture and Creator of humanity, view the physical union between man and wife as a defiling mechanism? I'm sure He doesn't! Then why is this word used? I could not really enjoy intimate time with my husband without getting a handle on this. It made me feel scripture itself was saying I was participating in 汚れるing my husband! God, please help!

I kid you not, it took maybe several SECONDS, and GOD answered almost audibly: "Right. Try to get something as humanly dirty as you can, and see if I can't make it PURER than SNOW, make it PRECIOUS! "

I FORGOT it was God Who permitted sufferings of injustice, torture, shaming at the Cross, to transform them into joys of Redemption of the World. He is the Creator that chooses an insignificant grain of sand and coats it to form a priceless pearl; He is the Master Designer Who causes moisture to crystallize around a dirty speck of dust to form the exquisite snowflake.

The Holy Spirit showed me something else. Would the wife hesitate to do something to "defile" her husband? Actually, God can cause anything to empower and glorify Himself; to further His purposes as well. Cannot the WOMAN'S WORDS/ACTIONS be used to tear down, belittle, discourage OR to build up and encourage; to be the helpmeet God intended? Wives can have a humongous impact on their partners.

Women may have such a strong influence on men, in fact, that the servant of God, when walking with a wife, finds His virgin fire to serve God cannot be rightly described as something solely between himself and God anymore, but it involves his partner too, and as long as they are both seeking to live for God are one in God's eyes. I believe He smiles on this.

When God took Eve out of Adam, let us make no mistake about it: He Himself brought woman to man (Gen.2:22). He declared it was good that man no longer be alone. My God doeth all things well. I've heard woman is "dust twice refined" (God formed Adam from the dust of the ground, so it was refined once; He then took Adam and refined it again, forming Eve!)

But when the "other half", who is supposed to be a helpmeet--even if she is born again--scolds/belittles; stokes fuels of ambition; aggravates hostilities; adds to lust and problems...can it not be said the Christian has lost the God-and-me innocence he once had, that it has now been "defiled"? 

Maybe another way of looking at that verse would be to read it thusly: "These are they who would not be turned away from God by women because they depend too much on them for self-image, zeal, and outlook."

Like I keep saying, I'm NOT claiming to teach these as actual interpretations of the passages; these are just thoughts derived from the verses! For example, today's would be more or less along the lines of: women, let's pray for and keep supporting men of God positively, so we'd never earn the label "defilers"!